tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56527178230035805342024-03-05T03:25:28.673-08:00Life According to JulieJottings of a wife and mother.Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-42337070481420974872017-08-15T18:28:00.001-07:002017-08-15T18:28:39.526-07:00Larsen, Party of FIVE!News big enough to dust off the blog!<br />
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In May, Mike and I celebrated writing what we thought would be our last big daycare check ever. Our youngest would be five and heading to kindergarten, which meant our daycare days were over. Whoo hoo!!</div>
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In June, we found out that we would be starting all over. Baby #3 was on the way, ready or not. A baby is always cause for celebration. There are so many who yearn and pray and try and pay for a baby, so we are thankful. I am anxious and stressed, but thankful. </div>
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The first question everyone has is:<b> WAS IT PLANNED?</b></div>
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It sure was--by God :) We have struggled with the decision of whether or not to have another baby for about three years now. I, admittedly, am not big on the whole baby thing, and we were excited to finally be out of the young child stage so we can begin doing more travelling, etc. But, we wanted the boys to have another sibling. So, long story short, we decided to just see what would happen--what was meant to be would be. It didn't happen very quickly, so we had gotten used to the idea that it wouldn't. I was 35, after all. Well, it happened.</div>
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Another question that may be on many people's minds is: <b>WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THIS ONE HAVING DOWN SYNDROME? </b></div>
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The type of Trisomy 21 Bryce has is not genetic. His Down syndrome was caused by a "random cell-division error" (I tend to believe it wasn't random or an error--hence the quotation marks). We were told when he was diagnosed that our chances of having another child with Down syndrome was only slightly higher than the average person. We have spoken with a genetic counselor about this pregnancy, and we learned that my "advanced maternal age" of 36 is a higher risk factor than Bryce is, but the two combined brought our chances to about 1:130. </div>
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We opted to have an NIPT test. It is amazing what science can do. This test consists of a simple blood draw from the mother's arm. There are apparently tiny fragments of baby's DNA floating around in the mother's bloodstream as soon as the placenta is formed. With the NIPT test, they segregate the baby's DNA from the mother's, and test for Trisomy 13, 18, and 21. This test is controversal in the special needs world because it is often used as a tool for eliminating children with Ds and other chromosomal disorders. </div>
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Let me be clear (and I said as much to the genetic counselor), we WOULD NOT TERMINATE IF THE TEST CAME BACK POSITIVE. We simply wanted to know so we could be prepared. Bryce's unexpected diagnosis was very difficult. We now know that Ds is not the end of the world, but I just wanted to know so I could prepare or put it out of my mind. </div>
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We got the results about ten days later, and we are happy to report that everything looks great. We have also had three ultrasounds already and we have a beautiful, active baby in there. </div>
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Another common question is: <b>DO YOU THINK THIS ONE WILL COME EARLY TOO?</b></div>
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<b> </b>Both of our boys were born at exactly 34 weeks. According to my doctor, there is a good chance this one could come early too (one preemie could be a fluke....two is more indicative of a pattern). We are being monitored very closely. I am only 16 weeks today, and I have had three ultrasounds and four doctors' appointments already. Tomorrow, I will be starting to get weekly progesterone shots and bi-weekly ultrasounds to monitor my cervical length. At the bi-weekly ultrasound appointments, I will be seeing the perinatologist to go over the results. I will also be seeing my regular OB at all the regular intervals. LOTS of doctor visits and tests!! I am thankful that the doctor/hospital is less than a mile from both home and work! We will do everything we can to keep me pregnant longer. My main concern is getting to at least that 34 week mark. 36 or 37 would be wonderful. </div>
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Last question: <b>DO YOU THINK THIS ONE IS A GIRL?!?</b></div>
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From the start, I was more nauseous with this pregnancy than either of the other two. That really led me to believe maybe I will get my little girl after all. Well, one of the perks of getting the chromosomal testing done was getting to learn the gender at only 13 weeks. Were there Y chromosomes floating around in there or not?!? If you want to know, watch the video below.</div>
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Prayers for my sanity dealing with pregnancy and all these appointments would be appreciated. Take care, everyone!</div>
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Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-10101949100204607972016-01-20T11:35:00.002-08:002016-01-20T14:14:24.916-08:00An Uncomplicated Life Holy cow, if blogs could gather dust, this one would need an industrial strength vacuum to clean it. It's been a while. We've been chugging along with school and work. Both boys have adjusted to this school year beautifully.<br />
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Today, I took a sick day to stay home with Bryce, who is recovering from a stomach bug. It gave me the opportunity to finish the book I was reading. It is called<i> An Uncomplicated Life: A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter</i>. It was written by Paul Daugherty, a sports writer, about life with his daughter Jillian. Jillian is a funny, charismatic, thoughtful, determined young woman who happens to have Down syndrome. My husband bought it before a recent trip, and of course I hijacked it as soon as he got home. Reading is my crack.<br />
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Reading books about people with Down syndrome is always an emotional roller coaster for me. I laugh, I remember, I cry, I worry, I relate. I feel guilt for not doing enough. I question myself. I have been realizing more and more lately that we need to start doing something about Bryce's future. Our first year with Bryce was adjusting to the idea, falling in love with him, and shock. The last two years have been a lot of worrying, knowing that we should be doing something, and wondering what that something is--and where the money to do it will come from. So far, it's been about enjoying his smile and hugs....cheering him on, watching his love affair with his big brother. But he's not going to be a cute little boy forever. The hard stuff is coming. And we're not prepared.<br />
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I'm really good at worrying. What I'm not good at is action. Those who know me well may be shocked by this, but I'm actually a very shy, self-conscious person. Making friends is really hard for me. Making phone calls requires an internal pep talk. There have been many times lately that I wish we were part of this big Down syndrome network I hear so much about. I follow Ds groups on Facebook. We've been to Gigi's Playhouse a few times. I've looked up our local group's meeting schedule several times. I know the network is out there....but I've been hesitant to jump in. Part of it is denial (still), part of it is avoidance, but the biggest part is that self-conscious, shy, introverted girl I have inside. Joining is just plain hard for me. <br />
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That is why I'm thankful people like Paul Daugherty are willing to share their story. I can learn from him, because he's been through it. His formerly adorable little 3 year old is now a grown, married woman who graduated high school and experienced college. He and his wife have been in our shoes and I can learn from them. I envy their attitude and their work ethic. From the moment their daughter was born, their motto for her was "Expect, Don't Accept". I do expect great things for Bryce. I expect him to live on his own one day. I expect him to make friendships, find hobbies he loves, and fall in love. Paul Daugherty and his wife have shown me what it takes to make sure that happens. Expect, don't accept.<br />
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The thing I loved most about this book, though, was the author's ability to put into words what I have always tried to express. I post videos, pictures, and anecdotes of Bryce online, DESPERATE for people to see his joy, his "magic". Everyone thinks he's adorable, but DO YOU GET IT??? You can't possibly get it unless you know him like we do. But I'm desperate for you to understand. He isn't a typical boy. He's pure, unadulterated joy. It's nearly impossible to have a bad day when Bryce is part of it. And 90% of people who find out they are expecting a baby with Ds abort. I just don't get it. They don't get it. Most of the doctors don't get it.<br />
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In <i>An Uncomplicated Life</i>, one of the last chapters is titled "Number 47". In that chapter, Mr. Daugherty talks about that 47th chromosome that makes our kids so unique. For some reason, our Bryce was given 47 chromosomes instead of the usual 46. What exactly does the 21st chromosome do, and why does having an extra one lead to the shared characteristics of people with Down syndrome? I don't know. But I completely agree with Paul Daugherty when he calls that 47th chromosome "a storage tank for all her good stuff". He says, "Number 47 contains a lot of what makes us good. It has to. Somewhere in that bonus wiring is a connection to compassion and kindness--a plan for how to be better."<br />
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One of our nurses in the Level II nursery wasn't sure that people with Ds aren't just more evolved than the rest of us. She talked about how we don't have a right to take their lives or underestimate them....maybe they are better than the rest of us. They have <i>more</i> genetic material than we do, after all, not less. The more I get to know Bryce, the more inclined I am to believe her. Jillian Daugherty, and Bryce, and the thousands of other people living with Ds know something we don't. Don't worry so much. See and assume the best in people. Love and be loved. Live for today. Do everything with joy and gusto. <b>Life doesn't have to be so complicated. </b><br />
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<br />Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-79386336387536804182015-08-24T04:43:00.000-07:002015-08-24T12:30:38.206-07:00A Letter to ConnorMy big boy starts kindergarten in a couple weeks. Since he went to preschool full time last year, this doesn't seem like a big deal most of the time. But it is. This year starts the next thirteen years of his life. Thirteen years of school buses, homework, play dates, hurt feelings, stress, and after school activities. Thirteen short years before he goes off and leaves his mama. Some thoughts before you go, big boy:<br />
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Dear Connor,<br />
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You start kindergarten in a couple weeks. I'm so excited for you. <br />
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I have so many hopes for you. I hope you learn a lot. Despite what you may think, you don't yet know everything. Let your teachers teach you--and more importantly, don't forget that your classmates have a lot to teach you too. Make sure you stop talking long enough to listen to them. Share the spotlight.<br />
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I hope you learn to face challenges head-on and don't give up right away. You are so smart, and a lot of stuff comes easily for you. This makes it even harder for you when something is a challenge....you have a tendency to be very hard on yourself and give up if you don't get it the first time. Know that some things will be a challenge, and that is good. Overcoming those things is what will make you stronger.<br />
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I hope you never lose your enthusiasm for learning.You just love school and learning new things.
I hope you always feel that way. Challenge yourself; go above and beyond expectations. Always raise your hand and take risks--even when you get up to the middle school where that isn't always the most popular way to be. The day you come home saying you're bored will break my heart. Your positivity and enthusiasm are some of your best traits. I want to be like you. <br />
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I hope you never feel lonely, left out, or picked on....but it most likely will happen. I worry about this especially with you, because you are such a sensitive kiddo. Every hurt you feel, I will feel right along with you. But remember that those times will pass---and you have, in your own words, "thousands of people" that love you. Don't let the mean kids win.<br />
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Probably most importantly of all: I hope you are always kind. I have been proud of you since the day you were born, but nothing makes me prouder than seeing you be a big brother to Brycey. You know how protective you are of him?---scolding mama for scolding him.....telling grandparents to take good care of your brother.....making sure there are no injustices for him....bragging to your teammates and friends about how well he's walking (even without his braces!), telling everyone you meet that THAT'S your little brother!--do that for others too. There may not be kids in your class with Down syndrome, but there will be kids that struggle. There will be kids that need protecting. Help them. Protect them. Stand up for them. Be kind to them. Just like you will want kids to do for Bryce.<br />
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Do I want you to be rich and successful so you can provide for ME someday? Of course :) Do I want you to become a world famous paleontologist, or race car driver, or chef, or whatever you end up dreaming of? Of course. But more than anything, I want people to remember what a nice boy you were. Your three-year old preschool teachers described you as a ray of sunshine, that class just wasn't the same without you there. That's what I want you to strive for. Be a positive, sunshiney addition to your classroom. You certainly have been for our family. I love you whole world.<br />
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xoxo, MommyJuliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-84118302881742245002015-05-20T13:09:00.002-07:002015-05-20T13:10:11.118-07:00My Baby is Growing Up :(Hello Poor Neglected Blog,<br />
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We have kind of just been plugging along without much excitement to report.<br />
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The past two months, we have been in the process of getting all of Bryce's preschool evaluations done. Yes, you read that right. BRYCE. PRESCHOOL. I can't even believe it.<br />
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There is a lot that goes into starting preschool when a child has special needs. Since Bryce has a summer birthday, they had to start doing all of his evals this spring in order to get it all done and written up before the end of the school year. That way, when he starts school in the fall, everything will be ready to go.<br />
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As part of the special ed program, Bryce will be in school every morning--five mornings a week. He'll be in an inclusive classroom three days a week, and a special ed classroom the other two. Those two days, he will work with his speech therapist, OT, PT, etc. He is still my baby in so many ways, I just can't wrap my head around him sitting and participating in a classroom every morning! He will love it, and I'm sure he'll do well, but I just can't fathom it. Luckily, we still have a few months!<br />
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Leading up to the evaluation results meeting, his early intervention teacher warned me that they can be very difficult meetings. As a teacher, I know these reports need to be deficit-based in order for kids to qualify for different services. We recieved the report in the mail last Friday and had the weekend to look it over. It was lengthy, and nothing was really a surprise, but it is still difficult to see the short "can do" list, and long "can't do" list. It is hard to see your child in the single-digit percentiles. (Except for his rockin' fine motor skills--in the average range for all kids his age!!)<br />
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But you know what else? These evaluators (most of which didn't know him prior to the evaluations) also saw his strengths....and he has lots of them. They fell in love with him, as most people do. They really did a good job of capturing the whole Bryce (as much as one can in an hour-long evaluation).<br />
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Yesterday, we finally had the meeting to discuss results, ask questions, talk about the school plan, and look over the draft of his IEP (Individualized Education Plan). As I sat around the long table in the conference room of his future school, I was amazed by how many people are already invested in him. I also know (as a teacher) how most of us feel about IEP meetings...especially IEP meetings at 3 pm--blech. But, in some way, these people were all invested in doing what's best for Bryce. We got to meet his teacher for next fall and hear about all the ways they are going to keep him safe and learning and growing next year. The speech therapist, adaptive phy ed teacher, OT, PT, principal, and early intervention teachers were all there, as well as the evaluation team. All for our Brycey.<br />
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The meeting was not at all scary or negative--in fact, it started with the cognitive evaluator giving us (Bryce) the best, most encouraging compliment I could have asked for--and have been wanting to hear since he was born (I'm not going to write it here, but just know it was a VERY encouraging statement :).<br />
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While I still can't imagine him in school, I feel pretty darn good about the hands we are placing him in. We are blessed with that one, indeed.<br />
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Happy early Memorial Day, friends! NINE more days of school for Connor and me. Whoop whoop!Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-52361599137194204502015-02-05T09:53:00.000-08:002015-02-05T14:33:30.846-08:00It Sucks, Doesn't it?<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I was pregnant with our second son, my biggest worry was making it to at least 34 weeks so I could deliver at our wonderful local hospital, which doesn’t have a NICU. My first son was premature, and all the signs pointed to this one coming early too. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">All of those wonderful, supportive comments, but the best thing anyone said to me during that whole stay in the hospital was this: “It sucks, doesn’t it?”. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There happens to be a nurse in a different part of the hospital that has a son with Down syndrome, and makes himself available to talk to new members of the club. After hearing that we did NOT have a prenatal diagnosis, and I’m sure seeing the shock and worry that was still on my face weeks later, he said those four words…..”It sucks, doesn’t it?”.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Don’t worry, he went on to show me pictures and tell me that it does get easier, but at that moment, I appreciated those four words more than anything anyone had said to me. Those words validated my feelings and lessened my guilt. To have someone who has been there, and has come out on the other side tell me it was okay to feel that way...it was just what I needed. He didn’t try to sugar coat things and cheer me on. He just met me where I was in the process, and sympathized. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgujl6s3HlZ16fC4P1CGz7iyOt9ixrPxsbXzyKlLDoaGXcznytEj98nmhHhS-nQIdu1-WUlmAFaStqACSQQq5NZrCX4IY_6qwTuYmkpLJ7yT1ju0KCoybUt0fTX1kfaTdloKV6lYAW9CFE/s1600/my+boys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgujl6s3HlZ16fC4P1CGz7iyOt9ixrPxsbXzyKlLDoaGXcznytEj98nmhHhS-nQIdu1-WUlmAFaStqACSQQq5NZrCX4IY_6qwTuYmkpLJ7yT1ju0KCoybUt0fTX1kfaTdloKV6lYAW9CFE/s1600/my+boys.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I don’t remember much more of our conversation. We are two and half years in now, and know that Down syndrome doesn’t really suck much at all...in fact, I wouldn’t change a thing about Bryce….but I will never forget those words from a stranger. Sometimes we don’t need advice; sometimes we just need validation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-88602569485137610662015-01-21T13:33:00.001-08:002015-01-21T15:39:00.658-08:00Labels I have read a few blog posts recently on the topic of labeling someone as "special needs" vs. "disabled". I am certainly no expert on this. Anyone who really knows me is probably aware that I'm not always the most politically correct person. I can't speak as a person who has a condition that would require a label...but I do know what I prefer for my son. How about we just say he has Down syndrome?<br />
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Down syndrome is a diagnosis. It can be proven. When Bryce was born, we had chromosomal testing done that determined he does in fact have Trisomy 21.....three copies of the 21st chromosome....otherwise known as Down syndrome.<br />
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Having Down sydrome is legally considered a disability. Having that "label" allows Bryce to recieve services and benefits that otherwise would not be available to him. Someday, I will be grateful for that. In fact, he is already benefiting from the 'label' with his early intervention services.<br />
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As a language person, though, I dissect that word in my head, and I don't care to think of my son that way. The prefix <i>dis- </i>means <i>apart, away, or having a negative or reversive force. </i>So, if we really look at the word disability, it is saying my son is the <i>reverse of able</i>? He is <i>apart from having abilities</i>?<br />
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Will Bryce have some disabilities? Probably. I doubt he will ever be a professor, or play in the NFL. Do I have some disabilities? Absolutely. They are called higher level math and organization :)<br />
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But is Bryce the <i>reverse of able</i>? Absolutely not. He is ABLE to brighten a person's day. He is ABLE to form an opinion. He is ABLE to feed himself with a fork. He is ABLE to break stereotypes with a single interaction. He will walk, he will read, he will move out of our house and break his mama's heart someday.<br />
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Will he HAVE <i>special needs</i>? Of course. He will always need someone to check up on him. He will need more time and patience. He will need modifications in school. Is he <i>special needs</i>? No. He is Bryce, and he has Down syndrome.<br />
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Having Bryce has taught me so much about the special needs/disabled community. I never thought much about what to call someone. I realize now that I need to call people who they are....their name first, then maybe, if necessary, their diagnosis. It is called "people first" language. Labels are sometimes necessary, and I am not in denial about what struggles Bryce's future likely holds. I just don't like to think of my son as anything other than who he is....my sweet, sassy second born.<br />
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Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-48455481663526233892015-01-01T19:15:00.000-08:002015-01-01T19:15:16.908-08:002014 Highlights It's always hard to believe another year has passed. I usually get a little depressed on or around New Year's Day....maybe because time is passing, maybe because I feel like I didn't accomplish much.....I don't know why. For whatever reason, I don't feel it this year. Maybe because 2014 was an exciting year, and there are big things to come in 2015 as well. I have been reflecting back on the year, and realized how bad I was about blogging, so I need to get some of these memories recorded! Here is my Larsen Top Ten of 2014 (in no particular order):<br />
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1. BACK TO TEACHING! This was by far the biggest thing that happened to our family this year. I was a miserable stay-at-home mom and I am so much happier now that I'm back in the classroom. The school I am teaching at is awesome, the kids are awesome, the commute is awesome, and my colleagues are awesome. I am more fulfilled as an individual, which makes it easier to be a better wife and mother. It's been a win for everyone, I think.<br />
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2. CONNOR STARTS SCHOOL. Okay, I guess he technically started school in 2013, but going for a few hours two mornings a week is nothing compared to the full-time preschool he is in now. He has adjusted well (with a few rough, tiring days, but that's to be expected), and I'm so proud of how well he is doing. He's a leader in his class, and has so much enthusiasm for learning. I hope he doesn't lose that. He also really started reading in 2014, and I am obnoxiously proud of what a little reader he has become. You really take being able to read for granted until you see how much more of the world opens up for your child when he/she starts reading. <br />
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3. BRYCE STARTS DAYCARE. In February of 2014, I started a long term subbing job three days a week. We had to find a daycare for the boys to go to two days a week. Contacting people and arranging things like this has always been difficult for me. I'm actually quite awkward when meeting new people, and have a phobia about making phone calls. Adding Bryce's Down syndrome to mix when looking for daycare made me that much more nervous. We are so blessed that he really doesn't have any special medical or dietary needs. Really, other than needing more time to figure things out, I don't really even see him as having "special needs". But, I was worried the Ds would scare people away. Our provider was not only willing to take him, but excited. Her mother had worked in a group home (or something) with people with special needs, so she knew that they deserve to be treated like anyone else. She is now completely in love with him, and does a great job working with him. We are lucky to have her, and he has grown so much since starting full time this fall.<br />
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4. BAUER MOVES TO OMAHA. We said good-bye (kinda) to our dog, Bauer in February. With Mike's travel schedule, I just wasn't able to handle everything. Bauer was neglected, and it was a lot of work for me--especially because I was still working evenings and weekends at Cub. He is much happier with the large fenced-in backyard and walks that he gets with Molly and Brett. I'm not so sure they don't regret the decision at times, but I am grateful for the new situation. It was hard for the boys (especially Mike) to say goodbye to our sweet doggie. <br />
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5. CONNOR PLAYS SOCCER. This past summer, Connor played a team sport for the first time. It was definitely....interesting. We're hoping for improvement this summer, and I fully expect that he will be much better with a year under his belt. He's finally showing a bit more interest in sports, and I think 2015 will bring us T-ball AND soccer.<br />
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6. EASTER IN OMAHA. We decided to head down to Molly and Brett's house in Omaha for Easter. It was the first holiday I had ever spent out of town, and it was really nice. The weather was beautiful, and it was nice to have more than a rushed two-day weekend down there.<br />
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7. QUICK TRIPS TO DULUTH AND FLORIDA. It was only about 24 hours total, but we had a nice family getaway to Duluth in July. Since becoming parents, Mike and I have taken advantage of our few chances to go on vacation withOUT the kids. It's just not really a vacation with little kids....especially when they're so young they won't remember or appreciate it. Because of this, Connor appreciates any little trip he gets to take. Now that he is getting older, we will try to include the kids on more vacations, but thus far, I'm proud of how much he appreciates the little things! Mike and I also managed to sneak away to Jacksonville, FL for a weekend in December and it was great to have some quality time together. Very relaxing!<br />
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8. BRYCE GETS ORTHOTICS. You wouldn't think this would be a highlight, but Bryce's orthotics have helped his large motor skills tremendously. He is two and a half and still isn't walking. Since getting his cute little braces, he is showing so much more confidence, is bending his knees while walking and getting down from a standing position, and can walk holding just one of our hands. He has also started showing more interest in walking (and frustration in not being able to), so I'm hopeful it will be soon. He's getting awfully heavy to carry around!<br />
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9. MIKE'S CRAZY TRAVEL SCHEDULE. With something like 35 flights totalling 64,000 miles, Mike's work travel schedule really picked up in 2014. It seemed like he was going to Panama every two months (and during every snow storm last winter) last year! And of course, the two dreaded Philippines trips were the worst. We have all gotten better at handling things while he's gone, and getting back on a regular day time work schedule has helped tremendously. 2015 should be even better because.....<br />
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10. MIKE GETS A PROMOTION AT WORK! Just in the last month, Mike has started a new position at work. It is on the same team, and he is still dealing with call center vendors, but he now has a manager position. He will still be traveling (and still has the Philippines account), but they will hopefully be shorter trips....and mostly domestic. No more Panama....and hopefully shorter Philippines trips. He worked hard for this promotion, and I am very proud of him. The raise doesn't hurt either :)<br />
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It is nice to start a new year without the usual "funk". 2015 will be another big one....my "babies" will turn three and six. Connor will start kindergarten, and Bryce will start preschool. I feel like I officially won't have a baby anymore! I am so looking forward to a summer without working evenings and weekends and hopefully being a little more comfortable financially. Things are looking good for a great new year.<br />
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I hope 2015 brings nothing but good things to all of you, my friends! Cheers!<br />
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Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-1538201747779816182014-10-03T13:34:00.000-07:002014-10-03T13:34:00.632-07:00AdjustmentsHi Friends,<br />
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I have been absent for so long....so much going on, and nothing profound to write about. We've all been busy adjusting to our new schedule, and everyone has adjusted very well.<br />
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I absolutely love being back in the classroom. I feel more fulfilled again, and can enjoy my boys more when I am not with them all day long. My new school is wonderful, and I couldn't ask for better, more respectful students. Although I am usually pretty exhausted at the end of the day, at least I am not at the end of my rope when Mike gets home every evening. I just need to get used to getting up and going early in the morning again!<br />
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I was a little worried about Bryce "punishing" me after daycare each day, like he did last spring. He hasn't done that at all. He has adjusted beautifully, and while he is a little more clingy lately, it's in a good, snuggly way. He has recently discovered a love of looking at books (yay!), and will sit on my lap and look at books for long periods of time every afternoon. I love it. He is starting to identify things in books and loves to "count" and point to letters too. His comprehension has grown so much, and I am just so proud of him! He is just the sweetest.<br />
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We are still working on walking, and he will soon be getting fitted for some little ankle braces that will hopefully help him to feel a little more steady on his feet, while also correcting the way he stands on his feet, and encouraging him to bend his legs a little more. Although I've completely gotten over the comparing-him-to-other-kids, embarrassed-that-he-is-behind thing, I am anxious for him to walk because it will make MY life a lot easier! Carrying a two-year around all the time is getting old.<br />
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Connor is a rock star student and loves going to school all day. The first couple weeks were a little bit like a roller coaster....he still hadn't really made any connections with other kids and was feeling a little sensitive. He has now made lots of friends, and I am noticing that he has gone back to being the popular leader he was last year in school. He is so smart, funny, and upbeat, and I think even other kids recognize that in him.<br />
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Connor's reading has become fairly fluent, and he can zip through most level one and level two readers without any help at all. He self-corrects, reads with expression, and fully comprehends what he is reading. He amazes me every day. I got a report from his teacher about him teaching the class a new word--"gargantuan--it is another word for giant!") While I realize that Mike and I can take a little bit of credit for exposing him to books and resources, he gets most of the credit for learning to read. He has just always been so enthusiastic about learning, he just sort of picked up on the reading thing. I'm just the proudest mom--and seriously, could an English teacher-mother ask for anything more out of her child?!?<br />
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Mike has been doing a great job getting the boys out of the house in the morning, and has been taking care of appointments and things on his own--since his job is more flexible than mine. I am so blessed to have such a supportive and capable man for a husband and father of my children.<br />
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The transition has gone very smoothly, and we're all doing well. Enjoy the (chilly) weekend ahead! I'm looking forward to hanging out with some college friends in good old St. Joe for homecoming weekend!Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-13581412186283401842014-08-13T12:52:00.000-07:002014-08-13T12:52:34.455-07:00Bryce is Two! This post is a couple weeks late, but we officially have a two-year-old in the house again. Bryce has done so much growing up this summer!<br />
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His communication skills are coming along nicely. He still doesn't say much ("buh-bye", "hi", and "yeah" are his words so far...and maybe mama and daddy, but not fully in context yet), but his understanding of language has grown immensely this summer. The best word I have for it, is that he is just a lot <i>sharper</i> these days. He will immediately follow commands or mimic his brother, rather than having the obvious delay we used to see. He also shakes his head "no", but usually to tease us rather than to be obstinate :)<br />
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As with most babies, he tends to focus on one skill at a time, so as his personality and communication has grown, his large motor development has slowed down. I was really hoping he'd be walking by his second birthday, but rather than getting down about the fact that he isn't, I remind myself of how far he has come. Last year at this time, he could (would) not even sit unassisted. He now sits, rolls, crawls, stands, climbs, dances, bounces on the trampoline, climbs up and down stairs, can get on the first step of a ladder, and walks while holding our hands. I'd say that's enough progress for one year! He is starting to show more frustration with his inability to stand up in the middle of the room and walk, so I'm hoping it won't be much longer.<br />
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Bryce is hilarious. He knows darn well when he's being a stinker, and laughs hysterically when we chase after him. He loves making faces in the mirror and entertaining his brother. He has started laughing at things that he thinks is funny, rather than just laughing along with us. He is starting to be a little more leery of strangers, and while he is polite (doesn't throw a fit, etc.), I can always tell when he's uncomfortable because he freezes and looks at the ground. If you see him doing this, it is only a matter of time before he will burst into tears.He is so sweet, and loves giving hugs. My heart literally feels like it's swelling every time I get a Brycey hug.<br />
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The child is SUPER SUPER stubborn. If it's not his idea, it's a bad idea. We see the stubbornness the most with walking (behind a push-toy) and drinking out of anything other than a bottle. While it can be very frustrating, I'm just so happy he has an opinion of his own and knows how to express it. It's difficult not to laugh at his stubbornness and I need to remind myself constantly that I shouldn't let him get away with things I wouldn't have let Connor get away with. But, have you seen this face?!?!<br />
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Bryce at TWO:<br />
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Favorite activities: lining up and driving his cars, tackling his brother, wrestling with daddy, climbing on<br />
furniture, and dancing!<br />
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Favorite foods: fruit, tacos, yogurt, ice cream, crackers<br />
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Favorite drink: Vanilla almond milk. And only vanilla almond milk. Drinking is not his strong point.<br />
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My favorite things about him: His sense of humor, determination, and snuggles <br />
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Favorite person: Connor<br />
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His idol: Connor<br />
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His nemesis: Connor<br />
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We love you, Bryce, and can't wait to see what you accomplish in your third year on this earth!!Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-28474995479056608372014-07-25T12:20:00.001-07:002014-07-25T13:12:00.509-07:00Changes Are A Comin'! Somehow, it's the end of July already! For those who may have missed "the news", I am going to be going back to teaching full-time this fall. After two years of being home, I keep having to remind myself that I'm going back to school, so I need to worry about how quickly the summer is going! With workshop week just one short month away, big changes are coming for each and every member of our family.<br />
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<strong> Julie:</strong><br />
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While I struggled as a stay-at-home mom, I do appreciate the time I had with my boys. I think I will be a more engaged and appreciative mom when I'm not with them all the time, but there are things I will miss. I will miss making pancakes on random weekday mornings. I will miss being able to go to classes with the boys. I will miss volunteering in Connor's classroom. I will miss (very badly!) visiting with Bryce's early intervention team. These three women (Ms. Amanda, Ms. Steph, and Ms. Naomi) have become more than just Bryce's teachers....they are my friends and confidants, my adult conversation every week. They will still visit Bryce, but most weeks it will be at daycare. We will try to work out a time once a month when I can be there, but it won't be the same as seeing them every Thursday.<br />
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I am excited to get back in the classroom, but it will be very different for me. I have to get to know all new colleagues and students. I will not be teaching literature, which I will miss. I used to have about 40 students at a time....I will now have probably closer to 150. I am going to a wonderful, large, thriving school, and it is about two miles from my house, so the commute (especially in winter!) cannot be beaten.<br />
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I will no longer be working at Cub, and I am SO EXCITED to have my Sundays back! Even when I was teaching before, I worked a couple shifts a week at Cub--including Sundays. I will miss my co-workers there and even some of the customers I have gotten to know, but I can't even tell you how excited I am to have two full family days every weekend. It will also be so much easier for me and the boys when Mike travels.....the boys won't have to be shuffled around every evening. Their schedules won't change at all, other than missing daddy!<br />
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<strong>Mike:</strong><br />
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For the past couple years, Mike hasn't had to worry about anyone but himself in the morning. He will now have to get both the boys out the door every morning. Bryce wakes up early enough that I will hopefully have him fed and dressed for him, but I don't know that I'll even see Connor before I go. <br />
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I'm sure Mike will also appreciate me being done at Cub--we'll be able to tag-team bedtime every night. He will also (hopefully) have a happier, and more fulfilled wife.<br />
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<strong>Connor:</strong><br />
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Connor's change is the one I am most worried about. I know he will be more than okay--in fact, he's probably going to love it---but he is going to have to grow up so much! We have enrolled Connor in an all-day, every-day kindergarten readiness program. He will be at school with me (yay!), but the middle school has earlier start and end times than the younger students (hence Mike having to drive him in the morning). I worry that we are forcing his childhood to end too soon, but it was kind of an obvious decision (other than the $5900 tuition--yikes!). He absolutely LOVES school, and thrived in class last year. If he weren't in school, he'd be the oldest kid at daycare every day, and I don't know how we could have transported him for part-time preschool. For some reason, the hardest part for me to wrap my head around is him eating lunch at school. Such a big boy! <br />
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My hope for Connor is that he is as well-liked in his new class as he was last year. I hope he makes some real friends, so he can stop relying so much on his imaginary ones :) I hope he adjusts okay to being away from home that much. I KNOW he will love having me home in the evenings and Sundays, because he is happiest when the whole family is together.<br />
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<strong> Bryce:</strong> <br />
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Daycare. Four days a week. Without his brother. :(<br />
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He is an easy-going kid, but did decide to "punish" me a bit on the days he went to daycare this last spring when I was subbing, so I'm not sure what his reaction will be to being there all the time. His daycare provider has mentioned wanting to know what she should work on to keep his development going, but the thought of ME not being the primary caregiver for him during the day is bringing me to tears right now. She doesn't (yet) know the sign language he uses, so I worry that the little communication he is capable of will be lost or overlooked. I hope that being with all those other small kids will inspire him to get up and get walking, but I have no idea what he does all day there. I have a feeling that she coddles him and loves on him, but I worry that he's SO easy that he'll be forgotten. While I will miss my visits with his teachers, it will be good having them go there so they can teach Angie what we are working on.<br />
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Bryce has never known a life without a stay-at-home mama. He is best buddies with his big brother. They are going to miss each other so much. <br />
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Okay, I thought I was most worried about Connor, but I take that back. Bryce wins that prize.<br />
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<strong>Grammy (my mom):</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong> </strong>Almost every single Wednesday since Connor was born, he has gone to Grammy's house. Wednesday is "Grammy Day". When I was talking with my mom about the full-time preschool option, she said, "But, does that mean I won't have Connor on Wednesdays?!?" That is what it means. It will be an adjustment for Grammy too. We both planned on having one more year before he was at school full-time. She will still have Bryce (we are so thankful, we have always saved a bit of money on daycare because of Grammy Day each week), but no Connor. Connor will miss his Grammy Days, and the days will be MUCH quieter without Connor there. We will have to stay and visit a bit when picking up Bryce each week :)<br />
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So, some big changes are coming, but hopefully everyone will adjust well. I really feel like it will be better for my mental health and our family life, having a "normal" work schedule again. <br />
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Somehow, Bryce's second birthday is next Thursday, so a 2-year update will be coming soon!<br />
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xoxo, JulieJuliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-54329290521408878362014-06-22T11:35:00.002-07:002014-06-22T11:36:24.091-07:00All Life is Precious Since having Bryce, I have joined a few Down syndrome groups on Facebook. Almost every day, I read a blog post or see a comment that includes the awful things doctors and nurses said to parents after receiving the Down syndrome diagnosis. It still shocks me. It's not even doctors and nurses from 20 years ago. It's still happening! Abortion seems to be the obvious choice. <i>You couldn't possibly want to raise a child with....gasp!....extra genetic material, would you?!? It's not too late to get rid of "it". You have options. It's not too late, but you must decide quickly.</i><br />
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I didn't have a prenatal diagnosis, and I can only imagine how terrifying it would be. I'm sure it would lead to months of mourning, uncertainty, and research. And the research is terrifying too....I did some after Bryce was born. I don't know for sure how my doctor would have reacted to a prenatal diagnosis. But I know how she reacted when he was born....<br />
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She hugged me while I sobbed. She sat on my bed, looked in my eyes and said, <i>"You and Mike are wonderful parents with a beautiful new baby. You're going to be just fine." </i><br />
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.....that's it. No scary stories of what life will be like. No talk about adoption. No talk about people on waiting lists for one of "those" kids. Just that everything would be okay.<br />
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When I sobbed about all the ultrasounds we had....how did we NOT know?? She again looked me in the eyes and said, <i>"Would you have done anything differently? Would it have changed anything? </i>(she knew what my answer would be)<i> Although today is hard, I think it's good you didn't know. You didn't need one more thing to worry about during that </i>(already stressful)<i> pregnancy". </i><br />
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It seems (from the stories I read), I'm one of the lucky ones....to have a doctor like that. Women have all kinds of reasons why they believe abortion is the best or only option. While I can't imagine considering it, I understand why some women do. But I'm here to tell you, Down syndrome alone is not a reason to abort. No more than having a girl when you wanted a boy, or having a child out of wedlock is a reason to abort.<br />
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If I would have known ahead of time, and made that choice, Connor would have missed out on this:<br />
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And I would have missed out on this:<br />
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And the world would have missed out on this:<br />
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I recently attended the 8th grade graduation Mass for the last class I taught at Blessed Trinity. The auxiliary bishop did a beautiful homily, in which he addressed the graduates. What he said really resonated with me. He told them all that God made them on purpose. When a mother and father come together to make a baby, there are millions of different babies that could be made. That genetic material could combine in millions of ways....but God chose you....out of all those possibilities. Wow. There are a million ways God could have given Bryce 46 chromosomes. But he didn't. He gave him 47. Just like he gave him brown eyes and the world's most contagious smile. He wasn't a freak accident. He is our son. Just like Connor is our son.<br />
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I beg you, if you or anyone you know ever receives a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome or any other "scary" thing.....don't make a decision based on that fear. Every life is precious, and doctors need to start realizing this. EVERY SINGLE LIFE is precious. <br />
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<br />Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-2614838513343883472014-06-03T12:46:00.002-07:002014-06-03T12:46:52.285-07:00Still Here.... I'm still here....just crazy busy. I couldn't believe when I looked at my blog and saw that my last post was in March. We have been so busy! I am in a constant state of confusion about what to do next fall, looking at jobs, looking at our options if I do decide to go back to teaching full-time, worrying about what would happen with Connor's preschool situation if I go to work; fluctuating between wanting to go back and knowing it makes more sense to stay home one more year. I just keep hoping the answer will land in my lap one of these days (anyone want to call and just offer me a job I can't refuse??? Anyone???)<br />
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Now that Connor is done with preschool, we had NOTHING on the schedule today. Ever since I went back to teaching in February, we have had very few (if any) days with nothing on the schedule. It is an absolutely gorgeous day, so the boys and I decided at the last minute to go to the zoo. Bryce loves going to the zoo now, and it is so fun to watch him be aware of the animals and want to be included. He is not happy just sitting in the stroller the whole time anymore! Connor is reading really well now, so he had to stop and read all the signs to me as we passed them. For these reasons, the zoo was a different (and more fun!) experience today. It's so enjoyable to watch these boys grow up!<br />
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It's hard to believe, but Bryce will be two in just two short months. As much as I have every intention of treating Bryce just like any other kid, I have realized many times lately that I don't hold the same expectations of him as I did of Connor at that age. I hate it, but it's true. I know it's because he isn't capable of as much as Connor was....he isn't walking or talking, so I can't possibly expect the same things of him. But, I have so much guilt about not giving him credit for what he DOES know. I hate that I underestimate him...the exact thing I say I don't want people to do. <br />
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He has gotten good at reminding us of his age lately....you know, like throwing fits.....and refusing to do things we want him to do.....and fake crying for sympathy....all those fun two-year-old behaviors. I always tell him, if he wants to exhibit the negative behaviors of a two-year-old, he better start working on exhibiting some of the positives too :) I want to hear that kid say "mommy"!<br />
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Today at the zoo, I had a great moment of pride in Bryce. Every time we saw fish (which is many times throughout the course of the zoo), I would make Bryce do the sign for "fish". He loves fish, so he was a fairly willing participant in my sign language lesson :) When we got to the penguin exhibit, one of the penguins was swimming back and forth in front of the glass. Bryce looked at me with a big grin on his face and signed "fish"! I realize that a penguin isn't a fish, but it certainly looked like one, swimming back and forth like that. I was so proud and excited....that was not only communication, but recognition as well! He wasn't just mimicking me....he saw that thing swimming and knew what it was! This may not seem like much, but to me, it was yet another reminder that he knows a lot more than we realize. It's so fun watching him use more and more sign language--and he always makes sounds while he does it, so I know the connection with oral language is there.<br />
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One funny Connor quote before I go--<br />
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C: "Mommy, do you know where coffee comes from?"<br />
Me: "Yes, it comes from coffee beans....from a plant."<br />
C: "Yeah, and it comes from caribou too."<br />
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I guess he read the Caribou Coffee sign that we had just passed. That <i>is</i> kind of misleading, isn't it? :) Having a kid that can read is a whole new ballgame....how can we possibly hide anything from him anymore?!?!<br />
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Take care, and enjoy the weather!<br />
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xoxo, JulieJuliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-15142827927208333442014-03-22T14:36:00.000-07:002014-03-22T14:36:29.617-07:00This Kind of Love.... When I saw that the International Down Syndrome Coalition (IDSC) was asking for pictures of people with Down syndrome and their loved ones, I knew I had to submit a picture of Bryce with the person he loves most....his brother! The campaign is called "This Kind of Love", so they also asked that we complete the phrase, "this kind of love......"<br />
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As you can see, I chose to complete the phrase with the word "enviable". When we got Bryce's diagnosis just after his birth, two thoughts went through my head (in this order): Life as we planned it is over, and what will this mean for Connor?<br />
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I quickly realized I was envious of Connor. He would look at the baby and just see his <i>brother</i>, not the neck roll, almond eyes, and short limbs that I saw in those difficult first days.<br />
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At this point, Connor has certainly heard the words "Down syndrome". He knows that Bryce has teachers and therapists that come to our house. I have tried to start to explain that Bryce has it, which means he needs a little more time and practice to learn new things. Connor doesn't want to hear about it. He just wants to play with his brother! <br />
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Bryce looks at his big brother, and his eyes light up. Connor can do no wrong as far as Bryce is concerned. Bryce can do LOTS of stuff wrong as far as Connor is concerned, but he loves him anyway. It is so fun to watch their relationship grow as Bryce becomes more and more capable of interaction. The love and pride and resentment Connor feels for his little brother is so pure and <i>normal</i>. <br />
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Someday, Connor will feel resentment for Bryce<i> because</i> <i>of his Down syndrome</i>. He will feel protective of Bryce <i>because of his Down syndrome</i>. He will be extra proud of Bryce's accomplishments <i>because of his Down syndrome</i>. Someday he will come home crying because someone made fun of him <i>because of Bryce's Down syndrome</i>. But right now, when Connor looks at Bryce, he just sees his little brother. Wouldn't it be a beautiful world if we all saw people through a child's eyes? <b>That kind of love is enviable</b>.Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-44821205066679625482014-03-21T08:01:00.000-07:002014-03-21T08:01:19.095-07:00WDSD 2014 Happy World Down Syndrome Day! Sometimes I think maybe I talk too much about Down syndrome on Facebook or on my blog. Maybe all of you are sick of hearing about it. I have always known that I do it because I want people to see that having a family member with Down syndrome isn't the end of the world. Anyone who knows me knows I am a straight-shooter. I don't sugar coat things. We are normal, despite Bryce's extra chromosome. He really HAS brought more joy than pain. I want so desperately for people to know this. I have said before, I wish all of you could REALLY know Bryce. I wish all of you could feel the love that oozes out of him. I wish all of you could hug that squishy little body and know that all is right in the world. But I know you can't. I wouldn't understand if it was one of my friends, instead of me. I would probably always feel a little bit of pity, despite trying to understand.<br />
<br /> Today, I read Kelle Hampton's WDSD blog post. (If you haven't checked out her blog, <i>Enjoying the Small Things</i>, you should. She has a daughter with Down syndrome, but rarely talks about it. She's just a cool girl.) She stated perfectly what I didn't know I felt.....the role all of you, my facebook friends and blog readers, play in our lives. What I really hope to accomplish. Here it is:<br />
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<b><i> "You are the parent of the student in our child’s class—the one we hope teaches your child to reach out to ours, invite her over to play, sit next to her at lunch. You are the employer who we pray sees potential in our child and hires her to perform a job she’ll love. You are the teacher in our child’s classroom, the one we want to work hard to meet our child’s needs and accept the challenge of integrating your classroom to include him. You are the high school student who we fear might not take the time to get to know our child, the coach we hope finds a way to let our kid play, the school board member whose vote matters in terms of decisions regarding our children, the co-worker who might need to practice a little extra patience and compassion in making sure my child settles in to her new job and feels welcome. You are the thinkers and doers and world-changers who can help alleviate fears for millions of parents world-wide and make life better for people with disabilities. That’s you."</i></b><br />
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If my bragging about Bryce and desperate attempts to get you all to understand can reach ONE of you in this way, I will have done my job for our little guy. Tomorrow, I hope to share another WDSD blog post focusing on my big boy and the effect all this has (or doesn't have) on him. Have a great day! High five someone with Down syndrome today if you can :)<br />
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JulieJuliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-18264390181636654452014-03-08T13:45:00.000-08:002014-03-08T13:45:02.181-08:0018 Months Okay, actually, Bryce is 19 months now, but it's taken me a month to sit down and write his year-and-a-half update. Life has been busy around here. I have taken a long-term substitute teaching job for the remainder of the school year. It's just three days a week, and we are starting to settle into a new routine, but things were crazy for a while--having to suddenly find daycare and adjust to being busy every day of the week again.<br />
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Bryce handled the transition to daycare pretty well, but of course got a wicked cold after one day of being there. He was a total bear while he was sick, and I wasn't sure if it was the cold or if he was punishing me for sending him to daycare. Bryce is such an easy-going kid that sometimes I fear we take his nature for granted and don't think about how things may be affecting him. Luckily, now that he's feeling better he was back to normal this week, so hopefully it was just the cold!<br />
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After a very slow start developmentally, once he started, he hasn't slowed down. The child wouldn't even sit unassisted until he was 13 months old, and 6 months later he is crawling, pulling to stand, and cruising around furniture. It's so fun to see him have more control over his body. Things are a struggle for him due to his low muscle tone, but he's so physical and determined...it makes everything that much more special. I was always proud when Connor reached milestones too, but there's something so moving about watching Bryce struggle and accomplish things. He is always so proud of himself too!<br />
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His personality continues to develop as well. He is still a pretty happy guy, and it's fun to see a real sense of humor coming through. He knows darn well when he's being silly and when something gets a laugh, he feels the need to do it over and over again (until it's not so funny anymore!). Bryce continues to worship his brother--Connor is the only one who can ALWAYS get a smile out of him, even when he's cranky and sick. Now that Bryce is so mobile, he and Connor can play a little more and watching their relationship grow just makes my heart swell. Connor is so protective of him and despite Bryce being a pest, he always wants his little brother around.<br />
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We are working on sign language, and for a while he was doing a good job with a few signs, but now he's slowing down. I suppose it's because he's so busy focusing on developing his large motor skills right now, and a little guy can only do so much at once! Communication has always been my biggest worry with Bryce. Communication is my <i>thing</i>. It's what I <i>do</i>! The thought that he may not speak until he's three, four, five years old--it worries me. Add his inability to communicate with same stubbornness that helps him accomplish his goals, and it can make things a little difficult for us.We're getting a little worried about the terrible twos that are right around the corner!<br />
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While we have adjusted to the idea of his Down syndrome, the pain and sadness is always there in the background. Most days I'm pretty good at suppressing it, but as he gets older, the developmental gap is widening, and it's getting harder and harder for me. I wish I could afford to buy him a whole new wardrobe, because wearing Connor's hand-me-downs reminds me of the things Connor was doing when <i>he</i> fit in those clothes. When Connor was 18 months old, he could recognize every letter in the alphabet. He could sing songs and follow directions. He could run and climb. Bryce understands so few words, it's hard for him to follow simple commands. He's 19 months old and can't stand unassisted. I know you shouldn't compare ANY kid to another (especially an exceptionally bright child to a child with Down syndrome) but it's impossible for me to put it completely out of my mind....especially when Bryce is wearing the same clothes Connor did. I love Bryce as he is, and I am so proud of him, but it's hard. I just want him to have everything, and watching him get frustrated because he can't communicate what he wants is very difficult...and I know we haven't seen anything yet. <br />
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It's hard to believe our little guy is on his way to being two! Two years since our lives changed in ways we never imagined. Bryce has been our biggest blessing in a lot of ways and has challenged me and changed me more than I ever thought a child could. I would say the biggest change I have experienced is in my gratitude. I still have moments of "why us?", but then God gives me a little reminder of how blessed we are. The other day, I woke up feeling sad and sorry for myself. Later that morning, Bryce and I pulled into the parking lot at the ECFE building and I saw a dad carrying a wheelchair-type device back out the car. I instantly thanked God for my healthy, capable kids. Yes, Bryce has an extra chromosome in every cell of his sweet little body, but that body functions just fine. Yes, it is taking him longer to figure out how to walk, but he <i>will</i> walk. Some people wake up every day wondering if their child will survive one more day. They wake up to a house full of medical devices and nurses. How dare I feel sorry for myself because I have a child with Down syndrome? I hit the jackpot with that kid.<br />
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It feels like Spring sunshine out there today! Enjoy, everyone!</div>
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xoxo, Julie </div>
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<br />Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-74719971428246695602014-01-31T12:36:00.000-08:002014-01-31T12:36:34.552-08:00Hard DayToday is a hard day. As I type this, Mike is moving our dog, Bauer, down to his new home in Omaha. Getting rid of Bauer is a decision I've been struggling with for a while now, and I finally made up my mind about a month ago.<br />
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Bauer is such a good and patient pup. He is only 11 months older than Connor, and when that baby came home from the hospital, Bauer instantly outgrew his naughty puppy phase and stuck to that baby like glue. Bauer is present in most of Connor's baby pictures. He tried to lay on Connor multiple times, which led me to believe he thought of Connor as a litter mate :)<br />
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Although he's not quite as attached to Bryce in his older age, he lets that boy crawl all over him, tug on his lips, and pull his tail. I never once worried about him snapping at my kids. He is so sweet-natured.<br />
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The problem was us. Bauer is a Black Lab/Springer Spaniel mix. Black Lab + Springer Spaniel = Lots of Energy. A dog like that needs to get out for walks every day. He needs to be able to run and play. Bauer didn't get that with us. He is big and strong and difficult for me to walk. Walking him with a stroller was pretty much out of the question. With Mike and me working opposite schedules for the past year and half, there was even less time for Bauer. Without proper exercise and attention, Bauer's anxiety caused him to bark constantly and drive me (and all the neighbors, I'm sure...) insane. He started doing some naughty things he hadn't done since he was a puppy.<br />
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As Mike's work travel schedule intensified, so did my frustration with Bauer. He deserves better than to be ignored and yelled at. He deserves to be appreciated, and for me he was just one more mouth to feed and one more thing demanding my attention. My patience these days is thin, and unfortunately, our sweet dog got the worst of me. <br />
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My wonderful sister, Molly, and her husband Brett have been thinking about getting a dog anyway, and volunteered to take Bauer. They don't have any kids yet, have a nice fenced-in back yard, and genuinely WANT a dog. They can't wait to get him in shape so he can go running with them. Running!<br />
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I know it's going to take a while for poor Bauer to adjust to his new home, but I really think it will be better for him. I am feeling really sad today, because not only did I fail as a pet owner, I caused my husband and sons the pain of losing a pet. If it were up to Mike, Bauer would still be ours. It was 100% my decision, but Mike supported it because he wants me to be happy. I appreciate that so much, but today is still a hard day.<br />
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I never would have given him away to someone I didn't know, and I truly believe Bauer will be happier with Molly and Brett in Omaha than he was here. We will also be able to see him anytime we go down to visit. Here's hoping he adjusts okay. We'll miss you, Bauer boy!<br />
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<br />Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-56533062355587127562014-01-27T11:59:00.000-08:002014-01-27T11:59:41.240-08:00I'm Ready....It's official. I'm ready to go back to work. I know I'm fortunate to have this time with my kids, but I am at the point where I feel like I'd be a better mother if I wasn't with them all the time. I need time to miss them. I need to appreciate my time with them. I know there are so many mothers who long to be in my position, and I feel horrible, but it's not for me. It's not even the kids, it's the staying home. I feel claustrophobic and bored. I miss being around my colleagues. I miss having time to be just ME instead of MOM. I feel like I've lost a big part of my identity. I know I'm the world to those two little boys, but don't feel like much outside of these walls.<br />
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I was looking through old posts and found this <a href="http://julesd156.blogspot.com/2013/05/staying-home.html">one</a> from last May. I was already itching to go back to work back then. Here we are almost a year later, and most days I feel like I'm just in survival mode. It's heartbreaking, because I feel like I'm not the happy, complete mom they deserve to have.<br />
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So why don't I just go back to work? Because we literally can't afford for me to go back to teaching right now. Until at least one of the boys is in school (out of daycare), we'd be worse off than we are right now. With the cost of preschool and daycare, we'd have less money than we have right now, and that can't happen. It's pathetic how little teachers (especially parochial school teachers like me) get paid. It's pathetic that someone can want to work so bad it hurts, but can't afford to work. How backwards is that? <br />
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In order to get back to work, I'm also considering working in a different field...one that would pay better. BUT, I feel like teaching experience is so unique I'm not qualified for any other kind of work. The thought of working in an office or corporate setting is so foreign to me, it's scary. I've always said if I did any other kind of work I'd want to be a trainer (the corporate kind, not the physical kind...haha) or a retreat leader of some kind....a position where I could use my teaching and speaking skills. I have searched for these types of positions, and don't seem to have the experience they are looking for....although many do list Education as an acceptable degree.<br />
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If anyone reading this works for a company or corporation with a training department and could maybe help me out in this area, I'd appreciate it. It would be fun to try something new. I feel like this would be the perfect time to do it, when I don't have a teaching job I'd be giving up.<br />
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If the right job comes up, I'll have to see what we can do to work it out. If no good opportunities present themselves, I'll have to survive another year and a half at home. In fall of 2015, Connor starts kindergarten and Bryce will be in preschool five mornings a week, so child care will become much more affordable. In the meantime, I'm just praying for answers. Praying a job opportunity will come my way. Praying we'll find a way to make daycare, preschool transportation, and preschool tuition work. Praying I will find fulfillment in whatever situation I find myself in.<br />
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I know that this time with little ones is hard and doesn't last forever. I know that things will get easier. I know I will long for these days when the boys grow up. Right now, though, it's hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel. I appreciate this blog space as a way to "let it all out". Thanks for allowing me to vent.<br />
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Stay warm everyone! This winter has GOT TO GO!<br />
xoxo, Julie<br />
<br />Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-86970618823829939702014-01-04T12:10:00.001-08:002014-01-04T12:10:29.867-08:00Surgery SuccessIt's been a month now since Bryce had his eye surgery, but with the craziness of the holidays, I haven't gotten around to blogging about it. <br />
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His surgery wasn't scheduled until 11:30 a.m., so we started the day with me pumping him so full of jell-o that he was spitting up orange....he couldn't eat solids, but was allowed jell-o up until 8 am, so I made sure he had plenty of that! <br />
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He was such a happy boy at the hospital...he thought the crib they put him in was a play pen, and he loves getting attention, so he was a happy guy. Here he is, pre-surgery:<br />
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He remained happy the whole time before surgery, although about an hour before he kept signing the word "eat". He had just learned the sign a couple weeks before...just in time to break my heart because I couldn't give him anything before surgery!</div>
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Mike and I decided we didn't want to be with him when they put him under....it would just be too hard to see him that way. The anesthesiologist's nurse just carried him down the hall. He doesn't really have separation anxiety, so he didn't even cry; he just kind of looked at us like, "are you coming??".</div>
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The surgery took just long enough for us to grab some lunch in the cafeteria. The doctor came in and said it went perfectly, and that the muscle was HUGE like it had gotten lots of exercise. Bryce is such an observant kid, those eyes are always moving!</div>
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Between the anesthesia, morphine, and Tylenol they gave him, it took a while for him to wake up. He needed to prove he could hold liquids down before we could leave. We finally stirred him enough to have a bottle of juice. He was trying so hard to be his normal, happy self, but then he would get a druggie-look on his face and drift back to sleep. Here is all drugged up:</div>
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He slept the rest of the day and woke up the next morning looking great. On the second day after surgery, the swelling set in and had me a little worried. The doctor didn't say much about swelling, just redness. Here he is at the peak of the swelling:</div>
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Notice how straight his head is already, just two days after surgery?? It took him a few days to re-adjust his vision, but it was so rewarding to see results almost instantly. I am so thankful we did the surgery while he was still young and resilient, and before it had any lasting affects on his neck and/or vision. He recently had a post-op visit with the opthamologist, and he said he couldn't ask for any better. Everything looks great. <br />
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I am so thankful that Bryce had a knowledgeable physical therapist who recognized that his head tilt was NOT torticollis, but ocular in nature. I'm so thankful he had a knowledgeable doctor who was able to pin-point the problem and correct it so well. I'm thankful I have a happy, easy going baby who made the day of the surgery as painless for Mike and me as possible. And most of all, I'm thankful for a baby who can finally hold his head straight! <br />
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He has been developing like crazy lately, but that's a whole 'nother post. Stay safe during this bitter cold spell, friends!<br />
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xoxo, Julie<br />
<br />Juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-91577627529805717382013-12-05T12:19:00.000-08:002013-12-05T12:19:07.705-08:00Surgery Bryce is going to be having a minor surgery tomorrow, and this mama is a little nervous. The surgery itself is pretty minor, but it's the anesthesia that worries me.<br />
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A year ago, when Bryce finally had gained some head control, we noticed he was often tipping his head to the right. We assumed it might be torticollis, and contacted his physical therapist. She started treating it as torticollis, but soon noticed it didn't present as a normal torticollis. He had full range of motion in his neck and back, and any tightness seemed to be a result of the tipping, rather than tipping as a result of tightness, like in torticollis. Within a few months, his PT suggested the tipping may be related to something ocular....so off to the opthamologist we went! The doctor agreed that it probably <i>was</i> ocular, but it took about four trips to see him before we were finally able to narrow down exactly what was happening.<br />
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Bryce has most likely been tipping his head in order to see straight. He has a slight misalignment in his left eye, so he probably sees a little double when holding his head straight. The smart little bugger figured out how to see clearly by tipping his head, and he has actually saved his own vision in doing so :) If he was always seeing double, he mostly likely would have overcompensated with his other eye. Luckily, he still has perfect vision.<br />
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Tomorrow during his surgery, the doctor will shorten one muscle in his left eye so it will match it's "pair", and therefore fix the misalignment. Hopefully he'll soon discover that he no longer has to tip his head in order to see clearly. I'd love to have a picture of that boy with his head straight!<br />
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His doctor is apparently one of the best pediatric opthamologists around and the surgery will take place at Children's Hospital of MN, so he will be in good hands. If all goes as planned, he should only be under anesthesia for about 30 minutes. It will be hard to see that little babe in a hospital bed, getting put under. Hopefully the half hour will go quickly and he won't have any ill effects afterwards. <br />
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He is such a trooper and recovery isn't supposed to be a big deal, so I'm sure he'll be fine. If you find yourself looking at the clock tomorrow around 11:30, think of Bryce and send a little positive vibe our way. Hopefully next time I write, I'll have a picture of a little babe with a STRAIGHT head!<br />
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Take care and stay warm! xoxoJuliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-44512970360681177352013-11-26T11:57:00.000-08:002013-11-26T11:57:01.168-08:00Brothers Happy Thanksgiving! It's hard to believe it's the end of November already, although it feels as though winter is here with the cold temperatures we've been having. Fall has come and gone and things have been really busy around here--the boys are growing and learning like crazy. It is so fun to watch their relationship grow as Bryce is becoming more and more able to interact and play. For a long time, Connor was pretty indifferent about Bryce. He completely ignored him for most of Bryce's first year. He finally started considering him part of the family and paying a little attention to him this summer. Now, the past month or so, they are becoming buddies. Connor gives him hugs regularly, loves making Bryce smile, includes him in our family tickle/wrestling matches, and always seems to want him around. It is so fun to see; both Bryce's ability to play, and Connor's acceptance. <br />
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Connor turned four on November 15th. Four seems so grown up, and I know next year will be even harder for me. Once he turns five, his babyhood is REALLY gone :( 90% of the time, Connor is such a pleasure to parent. While his incessant talking sometimes gets old (like when he talked constantly for the first 45 minutes we were awake this morning....seriously didn't stop for 45 minutes), he is so funny and I remind myself to enjoy the fact that he has an imagination, and that he wants to talk to me. I know, sadly, that both of those things will change as he grows up. His vocabulary continues to surprise me, and his memory is a steel trap. His favorite show right now is <i>Peppa Pig</i>, which is a British cartoon on Nick Jr. Since he started watching that show, he often slips into a British accent, which is hilarious. He spoke to our pediatrician with his British accent, and the doctor agreed that it's great to have a few accents in your back pocket :)<br />
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Connor has always been a kid with very specific interests. If it interests him, he immerses himself in it. If it doesn't interest him, good luck holding his attention. Lately, he has been very interested in learning to read. He has always loved letters and books, but now that he is getting older, he wants to be able to read himself. He knows many sight words, and has been more interested in sounding words out. I'm so excited by this, and have been trying to get him to do some workbooks with me. He wants to read, but has no interest in writing the letters, so doing workbooks has proven difficult. I am trying to find a way to teach him to read that will keep his interest...I may need to resort to computer programs. His preschool-age stubborn streak certainly shows up occasionally, and I am having trouble adjusting to him not taking a nap, but otherwise he is just a joy. He says the funniest things!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTUQmxuhBY_l0AXIINpItm0ErDc2zWSrhoHhcGyBFlwtz1AQf-3NhwPppTmVEbi1b9PHQZwUpMosq6GH8fOOrAvYu6jXXZadznEmYztcq3OmoeWRPOmRvEHFnDKWm8uwjoCiEghsAQvPI/s1600/connor+turkey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTUQmxuhBY_l0AXIINpItm0ErDc2zWSrhoHhcGyBFlwtz1AQf-3NhwPppTmVEbi1b9PHQZwUpMosq6GH8fOOrAvYu6jXXZadznEmYztcq3OmoeWRPOmRvEHFnDKWm8uwjoCiEghsAQvPI/s400/connor+turkey.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Connor's Thanksgiving Feast at School</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wall-E for Halloween!</td></tr>
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Bryce has also been learning and changing like crazy. Until the end of August, he couldn't even sit up unassisted, and now--just a few months later--he is belly crawling (quickly!) to get around, sitting well on his own, and has even started to sit himself up (finally). His newest accomplishment is climbing. He climbs all day long. His early intervention team brought over a climbing toy (foam/vinyl with steps on one side and a ramp down the other), and it was the best thing for him! The day they brought it over, he climbed the two steps on the second try--he had never attempted to climb anything before! He brought me to tears, I was so proud! Last week, his PT showed him how to climb the real stairs, and the next day I found him on the second step, trying to get to the third. I am so proud of his determination. He has to work SO hard to get up those steps, but even if he's fussing with frustration, he keeps going. His teacher witnessed that last week, and she was very impressed with his perseverance. It takes him longer than the average kiddo to reach milestones, but it makes each new accomplishment so much sweeter. I'm so proud of that little bugger.<br />
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When Bryce had his first birthday back in July, I remember being really sad because I didn't even know what to put on his gift wish-list. He just didn't really show any particular interests, and since he couldn't even sit up, he was very limited. I remember just crying and feeling guilty because by Connor's first birthday, I knew exactly what he would like. Bryce has changed so much since then, I know exactly the type of things to put on his Christmas list. He LOVES cars and trucks, and just like his brother, he will spend a great deal of time lying on the floor driving his cars around. He makes a cute driving noise, and always has two vehicles with him. When teaching him to climb, we'd always lure him up by putting toys on the higher levels....he now does that himself, so there are always cars and trucks on the steps and his climbing toy. He also loves putting toys in and on top of things--give him a bucket and some toys and he's happy! It seems like such a simple thing for a 15 month old, but seeing that intentional play and his new interests makes me so happy!<br />
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Bryce is also trying to communicate a lot more, and is doing some signing. It's still new and inconsistent, but his desire to communicate is making me much more diligent about using signs with him. Even when he does signs, he makes a sound like he's trying to say the word too (it's no where near the actual word sound, but his teacher is so happy he's even making those connections). I'm just having such a great time seeing him grow and develop his personality. He continues to be the EASIEST, HAPPIEST baby ever born. I'm pretty sure that's not an exaggeration :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Climbing!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Teddy for Halloween--15 months!</td></tr>
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With all their individual growth and changes has also come growth and change in the boys' relationship with each other. Connor cheers and claps for Bryce's accomplishments. Bryce still admires Connor, but has also learned to push him away if Connor's in his space. It's so great to see Bryce able to join in when Connor and Mike wrestle. Life is just really good right now in our household.<br />
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I hope everyone has a safe and family-filled Thanksgiving. We will be busy with three family Thanksgivings and Connor's birthday party this weekend. Take care!<br />
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JulieJuliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00289130298106539476noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-20970669337339540792013-11-02T06:06:00.000-07:002013-11-02T06:06:34.366-07:0030 Days of ThankfulnessHi Friends--<br />
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I've been absent for a while....not much to report. Mike was out of the country for three weeks in October, and I tend to just go into survival mode when he's gone.<br />
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It is November now, and I was reminded yesterday of the Thirty Days of Thankfulness "campaign" that has been around on facebook for the past few Novembers. I did it a couple years ago, and found that it is a great exercise....one I should probably practice 365 days a year, not just thirty. If you haven't heard of it, basically you just look back at the end of each day and find something you're thankful for. In my case, I put it on facebook, but simply telling your family, spouse, or writing it in a journal would work too.<br />
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Since Bryce was born, I have found myself being thankful so much more often than I did before. I wallowed in self-pity and "why us?" for a while, but since then I've been reminded over and over again that there is always someone worse off than I am. When Bryce was still in the hospital after his birth, and I was still in grief-mode, a nurse came to talk to me about her son, who is severely disabled and needs care 24 hours a day. I think I said something very insensitive at the time, but it was really a turning point for me. If we had to have a "disabled" child, we hit the jackpot with Down syndrome. I put disabled in quotes, because I don't consider my son <i>dis</i>abled. He is <i>able</i> to do everything everyone else is....just at his own pace. Being a part of a new community of people has made me so much more aware of parents whose children are sick or truly disabled, and I am constantly looking at BOTH of my healthy kids and sending little "thank yous" up to God. It could change at any moment.<br />
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Life is so fragile. It is so hard to remember this on the hard days. You'll be surprised how much stopping to think about what you're thankful for changes your way of thinking. If you've never participated in Thirty Day of Thankfulness, I challenge you to do it this year. You'll be amazed by the silver linings you find--especially on days when nothing seems to be going right. <br />
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Today I am thankful for all of you, my friends! Take care.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-79629144770005103582013-09-29T15:11:00.001-07:002013-09-29T15:11:26.420-07:00Six Years Yesterday, Mike and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary. As I reflected on what a good man he is, I started thinking about how thankful I am to have met him. That led me to thinking about fate, God's plan, luck, etc.<br />
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On March 31st, 2005, my friend Jess and I went out to Axel's Bonfire in Savage like we often did on weekend nights. They had great dueling pianos, and it was a fun bar not too far from home. That night, Mike also happened to be there. He wasn't much into going to bars, and certainly didn't go out in Savage very often. His friend was moving, and they were having a good-bye party. It took a lot of stolen glances across the room and quite few beers before we got the nerve to talk to each other. He told me he was going to take me out....I told him he could, but that I probably wouldn't talk and it would be awkward (I wasn't trying to talk him out of it, I just found dating very awkward and wanted to give him fair warning).<br />
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A week or two went by, and he hadn't called. I had given my number to plenty of guys at bars and rarely expected them to actually call. But I had a feeling about this one. I was pretty surprised and let down when he didn't call. BUT, apparently he didn't stop thinking about me either; he eventually worked up the nerve and we went out. I <i>was</i> shy and awkward on our first date, but he stuck it out. Two and a half years later, we were married, and the rest is history. (I'm sure there are plenty of times now that he misses that QUIET girl he took on a first date!)<br />
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Every once in a while, as I did yesterday, I think, what if I hadn't gone out that night? What if Mike and his friends had decided to go to the Bonfire in Eagan instead, like they usually did? Would God have put him in my life in a different way? Would I still be single and waiting for <i>the one</i>? Maybe I would have married someone else. Maybe he would have. I might even have kids...but they wouldn't be OUR kids. I like to think God made Mike for me and that our kids are meant to be, but I just don't know. All I know is that I'm thankful it worked out the way it did. I am so blessed to have a man who puts me first, is a wonderful father, provides for his family, and never makes me question his feelings for me.<br />
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We had such a beautiful day for our wedding. Thank you, Mikey, for sticking with me. It's been a roller coaster of a six years, and I look forward to the rest of the ride. Love you bunches!<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-26751913474921749132013-09-05T11:53:00.002-07:002013-09-05T11:53:54.056-07:00Preschool! Today was Connor's first day of preschool. He was so excited! I mean REALLY excited....not the least bit nervous.<br />
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On Tuesday, there was an open house/practice run in which we got to participate. Connor got to find his locker and cubby, and the teachers prepared a scavenger hunt for the kids to find all the important things in the classroom. Connor looked a little bit like a deer in headlights, but there were lots of new people and surroundings, so I wasn't surprised.<br />
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At one point the teacher asked all the kids to sit on a blanket so she could say a few things.She ended up talking to the parents for quite some time, and by the end of it, Connor was one of only two kids left on the blanket. At one point, a little girl was whispering things to him. I was too far away to know what the conversation was about. When I asked him later, he said, "She kept talking and I was saying shhhhhhh...." I think we may have a little goody two-shoes on our hands :)<br />
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Because I got to participate in the open house on Tuesday, I decided it would be best to make today as normal as possible, so Mike dropped Connor off at preschool while I stayed home with Bryce (this is how it will normally happen). It was harder on Daddy than it was on Connor :) <br />
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Bryce's EI teacher was here most of the time Connor was gone, so I was distracted from worrying about how he was doing. Before I knew it, it was time to pick him up. When I got there he was still in good spirits. I want to know what he did EVERY second he was there, but of course I've only gotten vague details. Whatever happened, there were no tears and he's home in one piece. Such an exciting time! I think we're all going to like it. <br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-68369905991134602572013-08-23T11:59:00.001-07:002013-08-23T11:59:37.425-07:00Beginning of the End.... In a few weeks, my first baby will start preschool. In some ways, it has been a long time coming, but in other ways I can't believe it. I have been so excited for him to start preschool....being a November baby, he's been three for a while now, but wasn't old enough to start last year. He is so ready, and I think it's going to be very good for him. I think it will also be good for our relationship...like any three year old, he is very strong-willed, and being home this last year, we have butted heads on a regular basis. Having a break from one another a couple mornings a week will probably be good for us. <br />
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But, as the actual start of school draws near, the excitement is morphing into something else. Something that makes me really close to tears every time I think about it. It's the end of his babyhood. It's the end of that time together that everyone says goes so fast. The end of the really, really difficult time that everyone told me to appreciate while it lasted....and many days I haven't appreciated it. And now I'm sorry for that. Yes, I realize he'll only be gone for three hours, two days a week. But it's the beginning of the end.<br />
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School means new friends, new independence, new skills....but it also means new insecurities, hurt feelings, injustices, and hard lessons. Things that will break my heart because they break his. I know that this is how kids learn, and that we all went through it, but I dread it. I dread feeling that hurt for my kids. I hope I can make through all that without punching some kid for messing with mine (kidding....kind of). I hope I can teach Connor how to make it through all that without making my anxieties rub off on him. I hope I can love him so much he'll have confidence and security no matter what happens at school.<br />
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Dear Connor,<br />
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I am so proud of you. You surprised us by coming six weeks early, and haven't stop surprising us ever since. You surprise us with your humor, compassion, and unbelievable vocabulary. The way you comprehend and process things is far beyond that of a three-year old. You hold me accountable for my actions the way I hold you accountable for yours. You have been my greatest teacher and best buddy. I am sorry for the times I didn't appreciate every second I've gotten to spend at home with you. I know you will do so well at preschool. Your teachers and classmates will be so lucky to have a character like you in their class. I can't wait to watch you learn and grow even more, but I also want you to stay my baby forever. Don't leave your mama, okay? I love you whole world, big boy.<br />
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Love, MamaUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5652717823003580534.post-20739833715992919022013-08-16T19:28:00.000-07:002013-08-16T19:28:19.121-07:00Bryce is ONE!Hi Friends,<br />
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I'm so late with this post, but between Mike and I both traveling and kids who don't want to nap, I haven't found the time to blog!<br />
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On July 31st, our little sweetheart turned one. Even though in some ways Bryce was born a lifetime ago, I remember all the details of his birth and time in the hospital like it was yesterday, so it's hard to believe it's been a whole year.<br />
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Bryce got to spend his real birthday with his Grammy (my mom), because I had to work. She made us a joint birthday dinner and cake that evening. Bryce LOVES to eat, so he was happy! The following Saturday, we had a little family birthday party for him. It was a beautiful day, so we were able to be outside. It was a great day! Connor is always an excellent host and very excited for everyone to be at our house. <br />
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Dear Bryce, </div>
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At twelve months, you are such a joy. Even though there has been a slow-down in your large motor skills lately, you have been focusing instead on fine motor skills and developing your stubborn, sassy, and sweet personality. You love to make faces (especially for the camera), and have quite a loud scream when you think you're not getting enough attention. You say "hi" by waving (seeing your cute chubby hand on the end of that short little arm melts my heart every time), smile at everyone, and finally raise your own arms when I ask "how big is Brycey?". You LOVE harassing your brother by grabbing at his toys, and harassing mama by grabbing any electrical cord, dog toy, or anything else you're not supposed to have. I really fear that I will have my hands full with you when you start walking! It took you a while to get the hang of feeding yourself, but one day you just <i>got</i> it, and never turned back. You LOVE eating, and aren't very happy when I still try to give you baby food. Bryce, I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments. Right when I start to feel down about things, you do something that brings me to tears and shows me it will be alright. You do things at your own pace, and you do it all with a smile. Thank you, sweet Bryce, for choosing me to be your mom! </div>
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xoxo</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0